The Many Mishaps of the Marauders
by Fezzes at 221b
Summary: A series of one-shots depicting their time before they all died. Involving replacing, automatic doors and wolf jokes. I don't own Harry Potter, if I did I would be writing that seven-book series of them, not one-shots.
1. Chapter 1

James walked home from his Muggle job. It was actually pretty good, he had to fix computers.  
>He only used magic occasionally.<br>Suddenly, a massive black dog bounded up to him and licked his face. James stumbled back, laughing.  
>"Hey Sirius!" he stroked the dog and carried on walking. The dog followed him, panting with his tongue lolling out, staring up at him at adoration.<br>They reached the house and James walked through the unlocked door, disabling the magic wards with a flick of his wand. He jumped on the sofa, kicking his feet up on the arm. He felt above his head for the remote and turned it on. QI was on. The dog curled up in front of him. He didn't ask why Sirius didn't turn back into human-form. Sometimes he just liked being a dog. James laughed along with the audience as the host retold a story of how he had mistaken a hamster ball for a football and had kicked it, thinking it was a football.  
>Would you believe it, it wasn't a football.<p>

He sat there for half an hour until Lily came in from her job. She went straight to the kitchen, checking to see if her idiotic husband had put dinner on. He hadn't. She poked her head into the living and smiled.  
>"Hey James, Sirius." she smiled.<br>Suddenly, the door opened and Sirius strolled in.  
>"Sup, Lily." he jumped straight on the other sofa and began watching TV.<br>There was a pause. Sirius slowly raised his head and looked at the dog, who was looking at him in great interest.  
>"Um, James?" he pointed to the dog and looked at Lily.<br>"How could you try to replace me?!" he said dramatically.  
>James looked between Sirius and the dog.<br>"Ah," he muttered. Then he spoke up and looked at Lily.  
>"I may have stolen someone's dog..."<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

It was the summer holidays of their Seventh year and the Marauders had met up. Lily was showing them the Muggle world.

They walked into a massive shopping centre and the four boys walked with their heads tipped back, studying the building that hadn't been built by magic.

Ad they approached it, Remus and Sirius lagged behind. They were watching the people around them. Peter was with James and Lily, hopping along between them. He had already stopped them hands.

As Remus and Sirius walked up to the doors, a dog appeared, barking its head off, leaping up onto the two friends. They both laughed and stroked the dog. Its owner ran up, apologizing and hauled the dog off them. She put her hand over its face and it quietened down.

"Sorry, he's a bit boisterous," she explained, laughing nervously.

Remus smiled. "No worries. We like dogs. Especially Sirius." he joked, gesturing at Sirius.

They chatted for a few minutes until a loud screech interrupted them. They remembered their friends, and after hurriedly saying goodbye to the woman and Marley the dog, ran to catch up to the other three. Peter was shaking on the floor while James tried to get him up and Lily was looking embarrassed.

"Peter," she said softly. "Did you take your meds?" Peter looked at her but everyone else nodded and walked off.

"I didn't mean to," sobbed Peter.

Remus looked at Lily questionably. "The door was automatic. It was meant to open like that. You didn't use magic, Peter."

"So, basically, you eat loads and loads of chocolate and it stops the wolf! Cuz chocolate is poisonous to dogs. And it'll help!"

Sirius tilted his head.

"Do, do you not get it? I didn't know which chocolate you would like, so..." he gestured to the huge pile of chocolate behind him. It filled most of his bed.

Lupin smiled but he was shocked. Sirius had gone to this much trouble to help him.

"I could probably take it ba-" Lupin leaned forward, his hand raised and placed it on Sirius' face, like they had seen the woman at the mall do.

"Shush. Its great."

Sirius smiled and licked his hand.

"Eww!" he shrieked and fell backwards off the bed.

James walked in.

"What?..."

"It was Peter." Sirius said automatically, snapping his hand out to point at Peter's empty bed.

"Peter is in the infirmary after you told him you had a spell that would let him jump off the Astronomy tower and live."

James dead-panned.

Sirius felt Lupin look up at him from the floor.

"It worked, didn't it?"

"Ugh"


	3. Chapter 3

Lily scraped the chopped onions into the pan, immediately oil started spraying everywhere.

She felt her husband come into the kitchen and lean on the counter next to her.

"James, be a dear and pass me the paprika."

There was a silence.

"No,no James, figure of-"

Her beloved husband turned into a deer and nosed the small bottle of spice over to her.

Lily sighed and turned the oven off.

She turned and walked straight out the front door.


	4. Chapter 4

It was the summer holidays of their Seventh year and the Marauders had met up. Lily was showing them the Muggle world.

They walked into a massive shopping centre and the four boys walked with their heads tipped back, studying the building that hadn't been built by magic.

Ad they approached it, Remus and Sirius lagged behind. They were watching the people around them. Peter was with James and Lily, hopping along between them. He had already stopped them hands.

As Remus and Sirius walked up to the doors, a dog appeared, barking its head off, leaping up onto the two friends. They both laughed and stroked the dog. Its owner ran up, apologizing and hauled the dog off them. She put her hand over its face and it quietened down.

"Sorry, he's a bit boisterous," she explained, laughing nervously.

Remus smiled. "No worries. We like dogs. Especially Sirius." he joked, gesturing at Sirius.

They chatted for a few minutes until a loud screech interrupted them. They remembered their friends, and after hurriedly saying goodbye to the woman and Marley the dog, ran to catch up to the other three. Peter was shaking on the floor while James tried to get him up and Lily was looking embarrassed.

"Peter," she said softly. "Did you take your meds?" Peter looked at her but everyone else nodded and walked off.

"I didn't mean to," sobbed Peter.

Remus looked at Lily questionably. "The door was automatic. It was meant to open like that. You didn't use magic, Peter."

"So, basically, you eat loads and loads of chocolate and it stops the wolf! Cuz chocolate is poisonous to dogs. And it'll help!"

Sirius tilted his head.

"Do, do you not get it? I didn't know which chocolate you would like, so..." he gestured to the huge pile of chocolate behind him. It filled most of his bed.

Lupin smiled but he was shocked. Sirius had gone to this much trouble to help him.

"I could probably take it ba-" Lupin leaned forward, his hand raised and placed it on Sirius' face, like they had seen the woman at the mall do.

"Shush. Its great."

Sirius smiled and licked his hand.

"Eww!" he shrieked and fell backwards off the bed.

James walked in.

"What?..."

"It was Peter." Sirius said automatically, snapping his hand out to point at Peter's empty bed.

"Peter is in the infirmary after you told him you had a spell that would let him jump off the Astronomy tower and live."

James dead-panned.

Sirius felt Lupin look up at him from the floor.

"It worked, didn't it?"

"Ugh"


	5. Chapter 5

"Um, honey?" Lily sighed and turned around. He only called her honey when something bad had happened.

He had better not have wrapped Harry-

"I may have wrapped Harry in my invisibility cloak and put him in the living room."

Lily looked longingly at the large knife she had put down.

She had only just come in after she had walked out on her smart-arse husband and now her son was invisible.

"He was definitely in the living room," babbled James.

"Call Sirius, we're gunna need back up."


End file.
